Patients is yet still a virtue that does not come easy. I thought maybe it would....but I was poorly mistaken.
The filter stays on. It must. There really isn't a choice about it, is there?
The oh so familiar abyss of chaos. Like a mermaid in the sea, she sings to me. Taunting me. Seducing me.
I can't go back though. I know what the end holds.
If you have to ask, then there is no need to for you know.
Live happily in your ignorant bliss. It's better that you don't know, don't understand. Shit, I don't even understand, but I know. I know it's there, right under the surface. Festering....
These eyes. The memories that stay locked inside. They are what's left. Reminders of past, beautiful, ugly, happy, painful. A road map of the path you can't allow yourself to take. The ink saturated in your skin won't allow you to forget.
The filter must stay on...
A war of the mind and heart. And I think one is losing. This four letter word haunts me.
Maybe I'll spontaneously combust. The ideas, the desire to achieve more, burns inside. The sleeper within.
Unconditional, beautiful. If only maybe it could be a reflection of me. The only love that doesn't scare me...the only love that keep me safe, the only love I can put my faith in.
A self loathing, narcissistic view.
Of course it's safe. It's unconditional, it's pure, it's simple.
You coward.
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